The world has always been a loud, messy, unpredictable place. With COVID and climate change and social unrest, and it can look and feel overwhelming these days. It's hard sometimes to see a hopeful perspective.
These are the very reasons we can't make the mistake of looking to the world—or even our own nervous system—for a sense of hope, stability and sanity. In a crazy world, with our thoughts and emotions spiking and diving wildly, we have to look elsewhere. (No, not to ice cream. Sorry!)
We can develop our own inner refuge, a place where we experience being okay, even as the world convulses, and our own nerves jangle.
Certain forms of meditation are direct and low-tech ways to that refuge. Here are two of the many ways this happens:
First, meditation teaches us how to create a little zone of peace in ourselves, our own little Zen garden. Instead of wishing and waiting for the world to behave reasonably, we take matters into our own hands. We can't control the world (you have probably noticed). What we do have some control over is how we respond to the world's gyrations. In meditation, we respond by creating patterns of steadiness and sanity in our mind, and we soak our weary soul in our own home-grown good vibes. It's a DIY kind of thing, where we're less dependent on the world pulling itself together. More on how to do that, below.
Second, meditation is the practice of stepping back or separating from the circus going on around us, and the bucking bronco of our own nervous, fearful and hopeless reactions to said circus. It's based on a simple shift of perspective, in which we re-affirm that “we” are not the crazy stuff coming up in our own head and emotions. We practice knowing ourselves as the wise witness of our emotions, worries and urges. We establish a helpful and “healthy” distance from our own agitation. Mind you, we don't disown, deny, or push it away. We feel the agitation inside ourselves. But with a fierce clarity, we also know our own nervous system reactions don't define us. You are not your nervous system. You have a nervous system, and you experience it.
The above are two very excellent tools. But wait, if you aren't totally convinced, we'll throw in the steak knives! There's an even cooler third part:
There's a complimentary way these two approaches work. They're like two sides of a coin, the best of both worlds, the integration of the two: First we cultivate steadiness, calm and spaciousness to the degree we can; but to the degree we aren't able to, we use the second approach, creating a little distance between us and all forms of agitation, whether it's the agitated world or our still-semi-agitated mind/body/nervous system. We could call this complimentary pair self-regulation + self-acceptance.
Said another way: One endeavor is cultivating a steadiness and well-being; the other part is cultivating a mindful acceptance of all the things we can't control (including, surprisingly, how much steadiness we feel). This is a paradoxical way to work, because it involves two opposite approaches which are both valid, and together create a greater, third “both and” approach.
The take away: You simultaneously learn to steady yourself and accept whatever isn't steady. Both of these practices support a lessening of internal stress, and a slowly growing sense of self-mastery. These are subtle changes, but don't underestimate how powerful these can be if you can attune to this subtlety, and how effectively these can re-wire you over time.
How do we begin to practice this? Here's a few simple practices to get started:
Meditation on physical steadiness: Sit (or adopt another position if needed) and invite your body to become balanced, steady and relatively still. Sit for a few minutes and simply notice (in a non-judgmental way) and take in the steady physical qualities of the body. Invite your mind to “steep” in the body's steadiness. The idea is that the mind will be subtly effected by the steady quality of the physical body, by concentrating on it. Remind yourself that this effect grows slightly with each practice.
Concentration of attention: Sit, stand, or walk slowly, and direct your attention to one particular thing, like an area of body sensation, or your breathing, or sounds around you, or the air on your skin. When you lose focus, gently redirect your attention back to your chosen object, with kind acceptance that the wandering of attention is unavoidable. Concentration of attention tends to induce stress-reduction responses in the central nervous system, while “training” the mind to adopt more steady, less reactive or scattered patterns. These effects grow slightly with each practice.
Breath regulation meditation: Sit, stand or lie down in a stable, relaxed and balanced posture. Focus on your breath, breathing through the nose as much as possible. Invite the breath to adopt a slow, steady, unhurried, relaxed rhythm. Be curious about how slowly the breath might eventually go. Don't struggle or force, just guide and invite, and accept whatever happens. This both focuses the mind on a simple task, and induces a “rest and relax” pattern in the nervous system. This practice slowly trains the breath and nervous system. Note- if guiding the breath becomes a struggle, skip this for now. You may be able to return to it at a later time.
Cultivating helpful separation: As you move through the day, and especially when you feel upset, gently affirm that you are the observer, the wise witness, and the owner of your nervous system, but it is not “you“ any more than your home or car is you. This perspective becomes gradually more familiar with each practice.
