What is it about people in high-output roles such as ER physicians, CEOs and others in upper management, entrepreneurs, nurses and yes, busy mothers, that leads them into emotional imbalance?
Consider: Competent, driven people focus on how to navigate and succeed in the external obstacle course of living, such as financial and professional achievement or the demands of raising children. They pour their hearts and minds into becoming successful. These demands leave little space for learning to manage one's own emotions and inner life.
These high-output endeavors also frequently demand that the achiever denies their own needs and emotions. For a while, even as much as a few decades, this can work. But eventually the chickens come home to roost, and the high-productivity person finds themselves in uncharacteristic territory, which may include: patterns of behavior that produce shame and put relationships at risk, not taking good care of themselves, generally out of balance, and not sure how they got there.
Their accomplishments are often impressive in terms of financial empowerment, professional achievement and others. They're seen as a leader, the go-to person, a pillar of their particular milieu. These roles, and the expectations of others, feed into a tendency to deny needs, and banish vulnerability. Emotions are seen as an inconvenience that impedes productivity. Of course, it is sometimes necessary to deny one's own needs to get stuff done. But if it's a long-term strategy, and one's only coping style, it's likely to become unsustainable at some point.
The stress shows up in:
Physical symptoms
Mood imbalances
Sleep disruption
Irritability
Impulsive behavior
Self-medicating with alcohol, excessive phone or media use, and other addictive behaviors
This human existence is a mix of external activity and inner life, action and feeling, extraversion and introversion. We ignore the inner domain long-term at our peril. Pushed aside, our emotions and moods will eventually demand tending. The wake-up moment often isn't pretty. The person of mastery has developed an achilles heel. It's a story as old as the hills. Let's not be too surprised.
In distinctly unfamiliar territory, feeling shame, embarrassment and remorse, all of which are understandable but often overblown, there's an acknowledgment of needing help. Instead, the appropriate reaction is: Welcome to the human race. You're not invincible after all. It's time to devote some energy to better management of your emotions and self-care.
About the high-achiever re-boot retreat program
An intensive multi-day program focusing on:
Diagnosing unhelpful stress responses, including harmful behaviors, limiting beliefs and struggles with emotions
Developing emotional intelligence and internal self-leadership, to better respond to stress, moods and cravings, focused on making values-based choices
Learning/practicing stress-management coping skills, employing:
Research-supported cognitive-behavioral counseling approaches with a short on-ramp, which teach applicable, actionable mental and emotional coping skills
Integrative mind/body approaches such as mindfulness*, yoga and lifestyle coaching
Positive psychology frameworks which focus on cultivating positive emotions and mental states without rejecting difficult emotions
Creating a detailed, specific framework of practices and resources to take home as the foundation for improved stress management and self-care going forward
It's a rich and rewarding, practical and life-applicable process. Lo and behold, people find they can learn to better regulate their stress, emotions and behaviors, and live more in accordance with their most important values.
*mindfulness research continues to produce strong results in the area of improved stress management
